Stressed Shadows

Our shadow follows us everywhere.  It looms over us like a dark cloud which cannot only be scary but quite stressful. The term shadow causes many people to think about their shadow on the ground from the overhead sun, however there is another, even more personal shadow present.  The shadow I’m discussing is Carl Jung’s definition of a shadow as “the ‘negative’ side of the personality, the sum of all those unpleasant qualities we like to hide, together with the insufficiently developed functions and the contents of the personal unconscious.”  The shadow represents all the qualities that a person loathes or that society deems unpleasant.  A shadow is formed through both nature and nurture.  Some children are born with innate qualities such as a “mean streak”, however, the surroundings a child grows up in also defines the shadow of the child.  Few people embrace the shadow, rather most run in fear of it, but everyone knows that it is impossible to outrun your shadow.

There are layers upon layers of Jung's theory about the shadow, but I am going to discuss it in its most basic form as the anti-personality.  To many, it becomes quite stressful as people feel their shadow creep up on them and slowly start clashing with their “light”, their societal personality.  The shadow embodies everything negative that we don’t want to see ourselves as and when something we don’t want invades our life, stress ensues and a cycle begins.  In moments of stress your shadow pushes aside your light and lashes, striking both the target and often the unintended innocent.  Often when we get angry, we are unable to control our shadow.  However, if you are being mean to someone, who does not deserve it, that might stress you out since in hindsight you may get angry at yourself for having been mean.  Your shadow can lead to stress and stress can lead to your shadow becoming visible.  As a response to this, people will fight their shadow as if it were the epitome of evil.  Brian Seaword mentions in his blog that it is more damaging to fight against your shadow and it is better to embrace it and learn from it.  In Fight Club Edward Norton ends up physically beating himself up, without knowing it, by fighting his shadow.  The shadow will never disappear, it can only be tamed.

There is also another aspect of the shadow that is frightening and an obstacle, the fact that the shadow is typically subconscious.  The uncertainty of the shadow is quite formidable and scary.  Do you know your inner beast?  Would you recognize it as your shadow?  More importantly, do we want to know?  Now this begs the question, how do we control something we can’t see?   For all the kids reading this, ask yourself, how many times has a parent or teacher told you that you need to control your anger or that your emotions clouded your judgment?  (I am not saying that anger is bad, but only in moderate amounts can it be acceptable.)  Most likely, the answer is more than once.  Shadows feed on ill perceived opportunity and pop out when blinded by stress. 

Calming your shadow is a classic example of learning from past experiences, and a natural part of advancing from childhood to being an adult.  Some do it better than others.  When you are in a stressed situation, you need to train yourself to not lash out, but stop and think about what you are going to do, the calm rational way out.  The cliché counting to ten may seem silly, but is extraordinarily successful in reducing your rage or any other shadow emotion.  I’ll admit it is quite difficult to control yourself, but over time, experience will show that controlling your shadow in a stressful situation will prove beneficial in the long run.  This is an interesting video on Jung’s shadow.   

(On a completely unrelated topic to shadows, here is some nice, quick, stress-relieving music from How to Train your Dragon (an excellent movie)) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9TanR_3M0o